'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life' [entries|friends|calendar] theysayimcrazyy [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

so cradle your head in your hands... [13 Jul 2005|07:59pm] [ mood | rejuvenated ] [ music | just breathe-anna nalick ] im turning 16 tomorrow... wow i never really thought about it until now... like so much has happened to me this past year...Ive grown a lot and Ive dont a lot of stupid shit...my parents even got more harsh on me...potts died...winter formal '04 haha... and so much shit... im so excited that im turning 16....only 2 years and im out...well at least i hope...im hoping my parents will let go by then! :-) god knows i love them to death and longer, but im suffocating... you can't have your cake and it eat too lol i miss my mawmaw a lot...nobody understands how close i was to her i was always her 'little girl'... and now im cryingg... god im such a pussy lmaoo ...and now i feel lonely cause i haven't liked someone in at least a year...i dont know what the hells wrong with me...i guess something jsut tells me to not like anyone cause i'll eventually end up getting hurt just like the last assholee that i liked... i havent been singing as much as i should...its just cause there is nothing to sing for...i sing for myself, and only myself...and maybe my friends...but like i never find out about any competitions and/or anything of that sort...i just sing...i am probly never ever gonna get to record in my life, even if i could pay for it...it wouldnt make a difference i havent written in a long time too...i should cause i get these urges to write and the words just flow out like a freaking river... i really need to make good grades this next year... not just for colleges, but for myself and my parents... im gonna straighten up a lot this next year...i need to, i fucked around too much...not as much as other people but they always get away with it...i don't... i know this is gonna be gay cause people read this, but this is MY journal and i can say w/e i want in it...but god i just wanna say how much i love music...it puts me in these moods...like its my get away and its like a therapy and gets me away from everything.....i think i might wanna be a song writer when i get older, too... i havent prayed since school ended...i knoww its horrible...but, it seems like things get better when i dont pray to Jesus and that's the truth... But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button girl so cradle your head in your hands Sing it if you understand. and breathe, just breathe 3 comments|post comment

[29 May 2005|11:56am] Im jsut so overwhelmed...I seriously cannot take my parents anymore...I am seriously considering running away 7 comments|post comment

"and what I chase won't set me free..." [28 May 2005|10:37pm] [ mood | whatever ] [ music | goo goo dolls ] I seriously need to meet a new guy...or at least fall in love with one...\ doesn't that sound crazy? yes it does but I like love...everything seems to be better anyways. 2 comments|post comment

maybe cross the country...BECOME A ROCK STAR [28 Apr 2005|05:08pm] [ music | konstantine ] you know I am happy I screwed up so many times...I am so happy I messed up and cut myself and talked behind peoples backs and disobeyed my parents and smoked and drank and got bad grades... I am so happy I did that because, they were all mistakes...and Ive been through it all...so I am not scared anymore and next time when I come into a situation like that, Im gonna know what to do... and I am sorry I messed up so many times...but think about it...If I had never messed up like that, who would I be now? I mean I wouldn't know how to handle myself... and sometimes I know I can't change people, BUT I can change myself...and I want to, I want to be myself and change for the better... I am changing and I realize that all of the surrondings and people around me are changing just as much as I am...it upsets me cause I want to just stay in one place but, It can't be like that... can you picture yourself in 10 years?...think about this...\ thanks for the talk michelle... 7 comments|post comment

maybe cross the country...BECOME A ROCK STAR [28 Apr 2005|05:06pm] [ music | konstantine ] you know I am happy I screwed up so many times...I am so happy I messed up and cut myself and talked behind peoples backs and disobeyed my parents and smoked and drank and got bad grades... I am so happy I did that because, they were all mistakes...and Ive been through it all...so I am not scared anymore and next time when I come into a situation like that, Im gonna know what to do... and I am sorry I messed up so many times...but think about it...If I had never messed up like that, who would I be now? I mean I wouldn't know how to handle myself... and sometimes I know I can't change people, BUT I can change myself...and I want to, I want to be myself and change for the better... I am changing and I realize that all of the surrondings and people around me are changing just as much as I am...it upsets me cause I want to just stay in one place but, It can't be like that... can you picture yourself in 10 years?...think about this...\ thanks for the talk michelle... post comment

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